Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Election Sermon

And on the eighth day, God created democracy.

I’m going to take this unseasonably warm day here in Montreal as a sign that God is a Democrat.   I can only assume that if McCain won yesterday, the weather would be somewhat different (fire and brimstone on the 401 makes for a nasty commute).  I’m also going to assume that God is a Catholic based on the how gay marriage and abortion faired in this election.

Awake from your slumber lovers of liberty.  Change is on the way.  Health care for out dear friends south of the 49th, and an end to this war are only days away, and the revolution will be televised.  God bless Obama.  God bless CNN.  God bless Wolf Blitzer.  God bless Holograms.

Onward youthful voter!  God holds a special space for ye behind the pearly gates, but first he has one question for ye: where were ye four years ago? 

Rejoice black voters!  When Democratic America cast their ballots yesterday, they were saying sorry for the last 500 years.  Kentucky, we’re still waiting…

What these next four years hold for us, only the Lord knows, but it is safe for us to assert that we’ll be seeing a lot more sunny days these next few years. 


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